spiraling down

I build her up she tears me down i thro my love she makes me from shades of gray are the hues in my vision the portait when we started was vibrant now everday it seems to fade.. i place your hand on my heart yu feel the beat only to move at pace contray to it.. the end is coming a downward spiral.. i see it occuring the pain i feel as we tumble... the wieght is heavy im lifting alone.. 50/50 ? More like 80 /20 the 20 percent yu provide confines hidden .. senstivty i may psses for yu movements like no other i crush the dream we built to put end to missery. I will spread my wings and fly to soft sands and clear beach front, and will gently let go of your hand until the taste of me in your mouth is so subtle ... you are becoming the reason that i.. i rember why life is easier a l o ne. Remeber my rarity the teasuure i posses and give cannot be felt ever again.. no comparison. So cherish the gewls i have to you for now i leavee in the distance.. i see a glare in your eye.. dnt shed a tear it would be vanity to do so beacuse it vein..give you time? Well my time is limited... love you? I cant help but, but at the same time teach yu? I have no time for slow learners? ..the wors shared from heart are harsh because of the depth of the cut tooken from your interactions with it.

Life isn't what it seems to be. What are we here for? Why do pursue false hopes and dreams? Life is balance but what is too much and what is to little? We fein for things unseen, we hope for things we believe will fix the voids. We stay at crossroads tasting diff things we believe can fit the criteria of what we want. Diff elements and things we believe we need.. and the choices we take bring us closer to a specific road.. which we start to walk down..But as humans are insecurities and habits conduct us in a way which makes us flutter around.. learn the hard way take harder roads.. make decisions hard to make because we fluctuate..where to go? What to be? What friends fit us? Because us and individuals as true unique ppl can fit and adjust and hang in ne surrounding and still function . Buh we really dnt belong to ne group or faction of ppl. Or type of personality.. one day we will have to choose the life And the lifestyle we r gonna live and not turn back.. because if we decide to stay stuck in the middle we will end up never using out abilities The truth is we want greatness and everything that comes with it but are we willing to let it in and sacrifice what us needed to achieve...sometimes that means giving up our soul.. our morality our essence to gain riches and become what we despise and loose what we are.The thoughts I share seem to have a connection . To what is the crisis or midpoint of my struggle. And I chose to let yu seep in to release the thing that stabs my soul.. deception is prevalent .. love is absent.. life is a confusion.. cross roads are everywhere.. decisions there are many.. peace of mind is obtainable..

my smoke and mirrors

trying to let go.. like with a withdrawal she's stuck in my memory bank... shake away..to be free..cage in insanity of forgotten hopes..hoping one day to be like images happiness is made of... the voice in my head screams find peace of mind.. sometimes i battle within myself.. please help me.. forget my past..it chases me.. life.. takes all my energy.. i yearn to understand the meaning of your embrace.. please don't let me disgrace...will my devotion last?.. that old me is left behind..they say its impossible..... but i know its possible.. to really know the meaning of.. a lasting relationship.. not built own ownership... i trust every part of... face on floor .. knee to a degree.. i .. found the reason y we can be so insecure....the reason we feed of immature.. deception in the air .. a palace of smoke and mirrors.. I'm sorry .. understand the meaning of the embrace i gave Cherish it.. to each is on.. and on to each.. inspiration faded.. now gained.. to a h i g h e r me. Unleashed...I'm sorry love felt. And given. G o o d life g o o d bye My smoke and mirrors.

no hesitation needed

Wen hatred feels my heart I think of you and peace resides you keep me sane in a god forsaken world we have turned from Peace and love to. Lust and hate I debate could something this real ever become fake to me I hope not.. I wish i could hold this feeling of faint for you forever.. the times you cry I wipe every tear mentally I crest and kiss every wound physically .. your are the picture of my perfection.. no hesitation needed..

crossroads

The things you keep inside holds no boundaries.. it seeps out through your work sometimes.. as though willing to tell willing to let go of..but your mind frame fights your heart although they agree more than they use to the battles you fight inside are unparalleled..lonely is what you fear. But until you don't fear lonely. You will never be.. see life is funny it throws people in your pathway.. and its up to you what you make of it ..so here I stand...our roads have intertwine For what reason escapes me .. now what are we to do?

caged

I run to my mind, the only escape I have from the worlds captivity . A secret sanctuary. Of peace faulty by every way consumed with false fantasies and depictions of life, but still peace I must escape this place.. to where my light can shine.. peace can be given outside of my brain let this caged bird free.. free me...

Russain ru-let

i wish the world was a better place and i wish i didn't have to erase buh i cant help buh replace.. decent women gone..another sad song .. im so far gonne.. life's never too long . i cry on this pillow .. tears of salt , that means they dnt run down my check..buh my heart .. i think i gave a fuck too much , now.. i can care less.. i mean i feel like im the best that has ever lived my life is filled with verbs , nouns, and adjetives,.. the perfect man she would want in her plans... i could be if she see through this hurglass and dont look .. at my past.. wen i reach my peak shit .. i hope that it last.. sad like i tweaked..im lustin after life.. death all over my back, soo how do i react... ? i run fast. so i dnt let go..and behold the man behind the mask ... love? wah about it .. ill put it in the corner while i grind near loookin at it through my rear....view, my goals.. shit who knows if i make it or if i fail.. im load-in up this revolver.... i take breath. "Russian ru-let" ..