killing softly, the meaning to ones soul.. corrupting the demeanor in which she was .. now she has been molded

I know that your are complete and whole But let me enhance you because after all who would make you feel that tingle Who could romance you And who’s eyes would you look so deeply into If you were the only one who would dance with you And I can only speak on experience, But baby I you can touch you like i do Not spiritually Not physically I mean, really touch you I have nothing and time to put into you baby I know that you are complete and whole But let me enhance you Let me teach you to do things lovers do But first let me teach you to accept that fact that I love you Aand know that I am complete and whole But let me make room for you Because when things fall apart yu can fet yur glu from me And when things make no sense I can get a clue from you and when you needed happily ever after Ill give you your “ dreams come true”

admission

heaven only knows, i gave, i tried , only human i can be, mistakes ive made cant change , but know life its progression , all i can do is apologies and move forward accpt me for what i am now not for what i was lifes changes, transition us to what we will be , i wonder wat you all think of me when music cords hit the radio , when you past certain places, dine in bistros.. the good the bad the great the horrible ... memories . pieces of yu all , effect me ..yu all are attached to me .. thank yu for shaering t i m e with me .. hopefully i am engraved in yu all

seem like i'm on slow and the worlds on .. fast, fast , fast forward, thoughts like should i step out the race cross my mind .

The promises i never got to keep

The promises i never got to keep, although i wanted to.. they have escaped me. Hard pressed and sincere but still ...

unimpressed

artistic charisma has left me, i have nothing to say or write about reality has taken over and optimistic behavior is decreasing ..my mind drawls blanks.. less inspired moreover less impressed someone feed me something worth caring about .feelings of been there done that surround me...colors look dull, foods are bland , fun is becoming repetitive.. unchanged and unmoved i am ...

beauty w/o a face

Beauty is beneficial in life, contrary to our perception one holds dear to them, physical attributes... issues do arise .. beauty with out a faces i would love to meet unmatched beauty by all means.. sadly to say i have yet to meet you, because i am blinded by the vain aroma in the air..which depicts the beauty i lust for .. one day i will mature..hopefully and see beauty at its purist which will be from within.. until then i will wait.. beauty without a face

The comfort from your words reside on top of my heart as a shield from harsh relativity..only you can unlock the key which could unlock my heart I call out in dreams for you to set me free, honestly I have no craving for the ordinary or the simplicity of things in my life at the time,although seniority lies in me I feel as tho you are the wind beneath my angelic wings. Fallen I might be. But with you I feel as though I can rise..

change

1:24 am

talking to my nephew tonight really lifted my spirits and inspired me.. i love you kaleb.. couldn't have wished or even comprehended a nephew of your statue..

i will sleep well tonight..

thank you again

10:04 am- sept.29th

life, the curiosity and hopefulness i posses towards it makes my time served a lot more easier to deal with, hopefully it does not make me hand over my abstract vision and optimism .. would be the last thing i would want to happen .. here's to falling freely.. i hope i don't go splat deifying the laws of gravity..

a friend of mine was speaking and mentioned something .. and it made me ponder ... she said and i quote,

"You will NEVER find someone that WONT hurt you. So find someone WORTH the PAIN!!"

and the more i think about the statement made, it becomes more apparent that this claim might be true to a certain extent depending on the interpretation..

wish there was an exception to this rule besides God , but it seems inevitable ...

5:54am -sep27th

Redefining what our life is seems to be a norm in the struggle of self betterment.. although it has its variation depending on the human being, it is all the same.. best of luck to all those who search and strive for the means to succeed

just a thought- 3:42 am Sep 26

to love what is lost is to love the absence of presence..on the contrary loving what is not seen or understood can be quit the common necesity ...unfamiliar it may seem, but relevant in all plateaus of reason.. i ponder the foundation which it stands but in some cases things are simple and not so complex to proceed with an in depth explanation... so therefore i will leave it as it stands..

Black Bird

Black bird so elegant.. So beautiful.. yu fly so gracefully.. I love yur presence.. beautiful black bird.. although yu carry the weight of the world on yur shoulder yu hold yur head up high.. and cry in the presence of the unkonwn to reach peace is all you search for to be content.. i care for you.. leave seeds outside my window for when ever yu will return as yu journey on yur journey alone know I watch in the distance.. I love yu black bird.. stay strong black bird.. i know none knows yur pain.. to comprehend yur pain would take an eternity.. but I will be here to listen to yur soft poetic harmony cry.. when yu chirp I will come.. and shelter yu from the storm when ever yu need it.. until then.. fly safe black bird.. fly safe..

Seee my problem is..

i gave my word that i will be there for you and never leave you in the cold and since i always keep my word.. when you dont allow me to do so.. it then bothers me..

Never been the type to make empty promises...

dreams, im chasing , i just wanna be successful.. even if no one else believe it . i'ma achieve it or die breeding it

I hope when yu think of me you still can see the light behind the masquerade of deflection .. the good that's hidden behind the wall of terinney i have built.. the hope i have not crushed.. follow me through darkness as i search for a light.. although once i find it i might be a little tarnished.. all you need to do is polish me and i will be like brand new =]

in so many words

in so many words i can say that all the words in the vocabulary i posses wouldnt be able to defined the temptation you bring forth..

sunsets fade quiclky

beautiful hues transcend into the sky as yu fall..

nature and its beauty appreciated for a moment ..

to understand the beauty of you bewilders me...

my understanding fairly little..

did God add flavor by accident or was your beauty supposed to be relished in?

so short .. but calming.....

thank you for a moment of peace..

well bye then, until i watch you fade again tomorrow..

a blog worth reading

http://madeiinbraziil.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-am-not-afraid.html

i have you

babe please understand i have you,

no matter what the circumstances .. i have you

i will be hear for you.. and no that my vacation away from you is to build me up and make me a better human being...

i love you and want nothing else .. you have me.. my soul mate..

when times are hard ...think of that scripture.. and know.. no word spoken out my mouth to you is in vain

and know that your faithful-nes is not either.. stand string my love.. i love you and together we can and will accomplish anything

on the side f every strong man is a strong faithful woman.. your are on my side which means you are my strong faith-full supporting woman and i appreciate you in ways one couldn't explain.. my heart thanks you..

i had a dream... and in this dream you became disabled babe..but i stuck by you 100% never looked an others way.. because you fulfill my hearts requirements and i want to experience life with you ..the worlds definition is irrelevant.. tons of girls?don't need .. all i need is one and you are by far it to me..thank you for being my partner in crime.. my companion..i have high hopes =]

and i will be also you back bone support you in anything you do .. reach your goals i Will be here for you.. trust me ..i have you.. and you.. have me.. i love you sweet heart .. good night

my night/morning

My night /morning was great on south beach, drinks with great people.. a call from my heart.. hookah.. food.. and meaningful conversation i can keep tucked away for a rainy day to brighten my spirit and raise my moral.. what more could i ask for.. =]i am going to bed happy.. i cant wait for tomorrow!

window pane

From a distance in my room Rain drops. Form and. f a l l.. hit my window pane.. dot..dot dot.. drip.. drip.. drip.. the rain hits my window pane.. palm trees .. bring forth rustling sounds..lighting strikes.. i walk to the window press my index finger to glass and proceed to write S H O T U A R I I A N.. place a period at the end with a heart.. look toward my right shoulder and give it a look filled with endearment and press my lips towards my skin.. turn back to the window and stare..eyes glare.. i whisper in the air.. i miss you..contemplating in my mind, can you hear me. Can you configure that distance means nothing..and i haven't forgot or lost any...real is what this is...striving is a given, worrying is obsolete. Time passes by.. let the clock burn.. patiently waiting.... they say dreams do come true. And good things can last forever.. So our dreams will to.. i love you Ms.O'Brien..

Not llike Crazy

babe when we first met i was the threat.. the who yu could never forget

..amazing is what you said..

who thought being me could led down the path to where i wannaa be.

.as we..me and you danced tears fell gently from you eyes..

i kne right then i saw you and you saw me from a different perception , no deception..

we saw c l e a r l y ..

fastforward time...

nothings change just the date..feelings remain..

.

the past so so bright as it sets ..

so vivid my memory banks perceive too well.

.is it crazy that one could love yu so openly and deeply as me..

make yu ponder my the road we will take and where we can be when we grow old.

imagine seeds that we sprout and nurious..

with names similar to me and you..

..well except it ..

not like crazy but baby just let it be reality..embrace it.. this is what real loves feel like..

Not like crazy.. but the meaning goes deeper than the words can relate.

her touch manifest

Her touch manifest unknown feelings..

congers my courage from the obis..

she drives me from curiosity to obsession..

gentle words never felt so soft..

tribulations never felt so minut.

Contemplating suicide..

Fuck it ready to go to hell..

Starting to be crushed by the pressure.

... no words.. just rope neatly fastened...no tears, just a chair with me standing..

Kick... push... hang..

my Mistress with out touch she teases me thro technology .. she feeds me thro wires .. electricity.. shes full of, show me thy keyboard and ill show yu thy mouse.. teach me how to type slow and ill teach yu how to research... my Mistress without hands we touch..

intoxic ated confession

intoxicated.. feeling real smooth listening to rick ross- rich off cocaine all i can think about is the future .. where i came from and where im going... never felt i could spend my life with ne one.. till i met yu.. listenin to this song makes me picture our future.. im here for good.. real shit yu got me shontauriian .. theres no turning back thro thic and thin.. im on yop of the world.. i got jobe my queen and journey the world with me..im hope yu always love me cus in the mist f the miami lifestyle .. fun is everywhere girls are present left to right but more and more it shows me how hapy i am to be with yu .. something real in the mist of artifical i have bever cared for sum1 soo deep.. i admire yu to the fullest extent.. i must admit love im yurs.. yu tamed a beast and brought good out of me .. i will always be a friend..a lover.. a companion.. understand.. you are what i want to spend my life with seriously.. my partner in crime my lil hussla.. i hope yu can withstand the world and wait till i retuen to yu .. hopefully .. i want to be like the ppl who have been together sice highschool and etc.. life is aboout new experiences bt the thing is i want to expereince them wit \h yu.. we both been theo the maxx..but lok now yu have a shoilder to rest yur head on.. memebr bjs when yu cried to mee . and said how much yu were ginns miss me and etc..just know that touched my hard heart.. ND KNOW THE WORLD MUGHT BE FUCC UP BUT HEAVEN ISNT HARD TO FIND here in my arms rest peacefully..

redefine

Baby let my love cature theee.. keep yu dry in a storm... is it the way? ...Yu wonder.. it is ..its the way i love you.. nothing in return .. just pay me in smiles. ..i delight in you.. so delight in me.. let me be the reason yu pray the reason yu push forward with yur day, along with youself's determination.. let life problems cease you, i swear me and you .. defintely can impose our mark on the world. Join me... trust me.. i put forth my hand.. take it... embrace my touch as we lay... no fanatsay or mirage.. juss a simple lip press to your forehead...sleep well in these words..as i erase yur past and replace the best you've had while i redefine what passion is..

sadly

sadly to say i am speechless. meaning full of choked up words...saying little .. praying little my moral is dropping no drug could lift me.. falling slowly watching as it unfolds.. leave me be.. to ponder uncertainty.. life is constantly handing me lemons and I'm tired of beef stew..

a little joy maybe could swing my way.. how about some happiness please..sadly it is out of stock ..

time will bring the real end to our trial , one day there will be no remmants .. no trace.. no residual feeling within you...

one day you wont remember me..

when this time comes your face will still be the reason i smile..

when you are set free from me.. to see clearly...

i had to led .. you had to let.. i had to leave..

i promise i will return ... better nights, better times, better days..

i miss you beyond more...

be free... ='[ i love till earths end .. i cant see what i can t have forever...

this cant be.. away from me? the love i want with me .. it cant be ....

the one who is my all.. why me?.. why thee? am i ment to be without thee..? please be a test...

lovee.. lovve.. darling..my darling love please dont let our love riegn seasonal....

shed so many tears

Im feeling lost.. no smiles on no cheers .. just sad filled faces and depression..

. sinned beyond redemption..

My soul deleted. Label me greedy .. and corrupt .. you the world has made me this way..

all i want and pressure is what fancies me.. which are things of nothingness

Fuck the world i feel curse..God if yu could please take me away from the pain... and pressure

Show me happiness on earth... Before i reach the place where water doesn't exist and torment last forever... damn where did i fell...

Im lost and weary.. so many tears .. im feeling suicidal.. no courage to take from myself the misery i am embedded in.. maybe cus of my creeping conscience ..

lonely seems to be the best option as i fade into the background.. lord knows i been a witness to many things.. .. my mind paint pictures but all of them are clouded.. as i drink wine ..to reach forgetfull-ness 1:43am the clock turns..

the place i reside is my mind. which i cant escape.. my own captivity.. far from any civilization.. alone i rest and alone i will awake...

feeling as if no longer will i exsit..and i wanna leave my mark onthe earths floor.

Will i survie till tomorro.. death seems so close.. so sweet .. do i invite or ... push away ..the dilemma this life for me?

..

what of it..

soon i will return to my essacne the dirt which i came.. tired of being surrounded by promise makers who tend to do which humans do.. forgetfulness they say..smh... no ones worth thier weight and gold therfore theirs tend to hit cement and brake like dinner plates more often than standing firm

my cry for help no one hears .. it so subtle so sweet im calling so it seems i wlli be saving saving my self again? .. tired of it..

i have been sucked dry.. becoming everyone strength feeling depleted holding it all in and taking on everyone elses..

believing in fairy tales i admit..i fancy them but more and more the feeling of becoming one seems slimm..so use to words failing to the ground how long will they hold.. hopefully eternity .. but if not..

Don't worry about me lonely is what im use too solo is how i wonder the earth .. mayb true love and happiness is ment for a chosen few mayb i been thro too much to be apart of that secret society or mayb i am like the orphan annne.. the sun will come out tomorrow....one hopes....

the ones i love remember i will love you forever.. my heart is darken all over except tthe places yu all reside.. no names yu know who yu are.. but for now forget me live freely ...

and i fadee to nothingness.. helplessly.. alone.. tormented by the demons i left undelt with .. bye bye

sweet nothings part 2

Come here boo let whisper in yur ear sumthin that might seduce you.. yeah the lies I tell might coem true yu feel it ?…well then I feel it to ... yeah that's it let yur guard down boo.. now let me ease closer to , wow who knew .. how open I got chu.. got me shocked too. Mvoin from square one now we at square two... almost there babe let me paint for you.. the meaning of lust with a hint of true love .. oops yu cant have one with out other ? So not true... for the moment ill be for boyfriend number two.. or any number yu presume..yeah yu loo lovely does that too.. I bet it does .. now I stare deep yu feel something .. don't make a peep.. just believe I'm the one dor this night could that be cool? Yeah for the night its me and yu.. love me .. if yu want .. now my reach up yur summer dress this ant cool.. I feel your temperature rise now moister dilutes you .. I think I made it to square three.. there is no more you..now we are intertwined just me and you which equals two notice I said two because there is no us
, just me on top of you

kaleb

the son i never possessed , the one that feel from heaven into my lap, dear to me you are as dear can get . i have reached my limitations and surpassed them i strive to give you a hero in your life , i love you beyond anyones recollection


i cherish you ...

freestyles to missions on the hot L.A streets

but most of all our intellect convos ..


my best friend/nephew/son watching you grow .. amazing

and although im gone, take the wisdom i gave you and put it into steps to reacgh your goals .. although im not there to water your leaves .. understand you must learn to water your own.. me leaving was to make you stringer not conform you. become the man i know you are ...


and then end i will return to you.. to see how you have been... hopefully i don't see any brown on your leaves and i see vibrancy..im expecting the most..

I awake

I awake to the drip-drop of icicles
Melting outside my window. although i am in the mits of Auguest, Everything i feel for you is fresh like spring time.
All is happening to me these days..
oh I, I had my suspicions.
I'm in love with you;
It feels like i heaven in a bottle
but WAIT..
let me Fill my pockets up with joy and happines for you
Then we can trail the roads we call life..

Carried all we could..

The world keeps a balance, through mathematics
Defined by whatever we have added and subtracted...

no tutor needed just brand new experiences =]

Im not your expectations

Im not your expectations. Beyond my skin.. look deep within..can you see the light i posses.. beyond my urban exterior lies a soul.. a human bieng bare.. made from the same God..shaped from the same clay as you... i am not your expectations look beyond my cover and read my pages.. take your time you will be surpised.. i bet you will never expect.. anymore

Surounded by nnecromancy disordaly conduct , where am i ? Why am i here? Free as a bird i want to be.
Free as the breeze crossing field.. free to the definiton of my mind. What are we composed of ? Morality distant.
Where do i go to find substance? Peace of mind, is it possible to achieve ? If one knows the answer please gudie me to tha passage way ..
Feeling like the only escape of the worlds insanity is death.
Am i really the last of my kind? Is this why people tend to say more often then occasions that i am nothing they have met before?
But this being said it is hard to find my place.. i feel like an outsider is there anyone that can relate?
I see attributes in some but there hidden, no names revelaved she sits up when haveing problems and incloses herself to her thoughts in the dark alone in the living room
little does she know is ican relate i am the same way but the diff is she would never utter to tell some of these secrets. Her behaviors.
First time i met sum1 close to similar .. ok subject corrected tangent finished.. lol
Opinions not express .feelings hidden.. sum1 show me relief i haven been beatin from the world for my unwillingnes to conform i need sum peace.
. i am at the point of giving.. the good morals starts to fade im reaching they are slipping..
Breath of fresh air come my way because i am suffcting from holdin.. toxics in my way clear a pathway ..
Any opinons feel free to express. These are my thought i share to you .. share back

She says she loves me for me I say I love her for thee . Teach me things of meaningful delight... I delight in her words .. take part in her verses she rights on my sleve I tatto her name in my brain I feel as tho she's a part of me.. she keeps me sane.. in a inhuman world , she's my peace of mind her souls prences grows devine. The closer I get..

the theorems you deliver

The theorems you deliver brings me discomfort..be gentle, think about the delivery of your words, the subtle things pry open and pick at my sensitivity.. therefore i become as a Shadow in the distance.. leaving my shell and drawing further away, as instead to worn you , i choose to confine in my mind, therefore to spare the arguments and loss of happiness covered sorrow, never have i been offended so easily little minut things plague and scratch at my temper, is it because i wonder how do .. thoughts freeze expression lost only one thought proceeds my thought i love you. i loose train of perception and zone to my mind.. thoughts arrive of you i am amazing she says i smile, i grasp her.. h o l d this feeling because at this moment i felt something different something profound. Phone rings i snap back to reality summer days .. hot asfulat... and blue skies.. i wish the key to her treasure was in my possesion, i take a beattin because she needs me but runs from me at the same..hard to comprhend..she says teach her.. love her... watch her grow so i water her for now until my seasonal occupation is depleted and i am absolute ...and moves on to the nextt.. that day i dred..eventhough i am tuff and can live alonee.i rather stop the search and cease it with her. Time is limited..just wanting to have a partner i can confide in and share my thoughts to a friend a companion .. could she be that for me? Could she let have the keys.. could i give her share w/ the lyrics of my soul.. song comes to mind micheal jackson-tittle unknown but lyrics consit of " lady of my life"

thinking to myself..

at one point in time i wanted to give you the world..

but..

i could never give u the world, its gone bad. I care 4 u 2 much....

My Angel

sleep gently.. to consider forever my angel is not hard for me .. with you in the picture as the seasons change and the years past my love will withstand... i love you beyond everlasting... without a doubt you are my sun on a cloudy day.. you are more than a want.. a "need" is what fits you.. my angel so soft spoken.. as you sleep gently i kiss your forehead knowing true love is what i found .. but i will restrain from thee as i take my bow ... i love you were the last words spoken from your lips . to withdrawal from you and the world is most hardened ... hopefully i do not wither away because you are my daily bread... "defiantly questionable" you say ... i become speachless.. my steps seem caculated.. and watch closely..looking for my fualty-ness, doubt is modern a day proverb.. it is the human concept of expecting the worst..but at the same time teasing our dreams by chasing such things that tickle our fancy..but when they arrive.. especially unexpected we become withdrawn..as if we were hoping in vain ..

i pled with you.. my hearts desires are not pure considering i am in sin , but on the contrary , although i am as human as possible my love for you is like nothing that can be comprehended.. my shields fall i lay bare un-purposely.. as i stand before you completely vulnerable my look deepens..my eyes glare.. i have reached a new Plato if you will materialism is in my past i am more concerned with the things of priceless value.. things that cant be held but can be felt , things that can be remembered and passed on.. more of life experiences than vanity.. to experience life with you..


a journey..together... . .journey with me... my angel understand i am restricted by skin therefore have ways unfitting, but my intension's are well meaning...

"A special world for you and me A special bond one cannot see It wraps us up in its cocoon And holds us fiercely in its womb Its fingers spread like fine spun gold Gently nestling us to the fold Like silken thread it holds us fast Bonds like this are meant to last. And though at times a thread may break A new one forms in its wake To bind us closer and keep us strong In a special world, where we belong.." understanding this statement will be a riddle that will plague you..


i LOVE you unconditonally.. my angel .. my heart..



Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.

sweet nothings

come here love let whisper sweet nothings in your ear. . . i redefine what you like .. i'll be your need not your want .. the lies ill tell you will draw you closer .. thats it.. let your guard down show me you true colors underneath the surface as i feed you undeniable fibs to draw you near.. my mischievous grin as i undress you slowly.. i look deep into your eyes, im fixated on what i desire.. you search me facial expressions believing to see love and genuine sentiment .. i crest you.. a wolf in sheep's clothing i press you near, force emotions on you, make you feel special as i whisper sweet nothings in your ear.. how dear of me.. to oblige your fantasy to lead you down a candy coated pathway of lies and betrayal ...welcome to a beautiful entrapment.. look how gorgeously i sped my web ..

Ebony.. the color of beauty bronze complextion melts into a world of collsion..DNA traces me here.. I see earth.. I see mother.. I see nature at its finest.. loving our ancesrty.. teaching the turth..timbuk tu .. the devine rope vine we carry in our blood..embrace it.. the melon of the begeining.. we were the first.. trace it... all branches of mankind came from WE rather you are a dark satfire color or a soft lemon mirange .. we are beautiful..black is beautiful.. love one another...

tattoo'd lips

tattoo'd lips speak enchanted verbs..so sweet, the moist subtle caress embedded to my flesh. figurative-ly .i conger up fantasies, the wants and needs i crave are strongly inching me.. i hear whispers in the distance.. a constant reminder to my flesh, tattoo'd lips, the often victim of my affection.. red outlined gently for fullness and shape.. pink for ripeness and white for a quiteblush.. my tattoo'd lips. . .as i took my heart off my sleeve and placed it in ones bosom a tear became thee.. i wiped it gent-ly .. she presses my shoulder with her lips, a kiss, a imprint of forever-ness, meaning-FULL

as i sit in the corridors of my mind..

such a big world for an army of one .. as i battle life anxieties i am faced with the facts i will only live once, experience true love once, have a first born once, indulge in life's secrets once.. i will only be given one shot.. and the the bullets will reunite me to the ground which i came from and my soul will either find peace or be tormented forever.. i realize i don't have forever to love so i love you all now i experience and live life to the best of my abilities, because time is flying so hastey.. i stare into nothing and see everything .. ironically how shy we are .. to only be truly honest when we are by ourselves .. the only time we feel free to speak or feel or ponder our deepest emotions.. our desires.. so broken i am before myself .. only i can comprehend the depth and simplicity my being posses....

i change lanes on a regular i sway back and forth with ideas..the insanity to others is sanity to me.. as i sit out in the humidity i see mirages of what could be and live out my life enclosed in my mind i take journeys in every-field i go down every-path and then snap back to where i am in my life, which is now. not to say i havent lived because in my mind i have , now the idea is to turn ones (pause) beautiful faces pass me by one after another overwhelming the the soft tissue of my body , funny the urges that come forth.. but yet i react not, but confident becomes me .. self pleasing ... only thing is the face in the crowd i would like to see is no where present . my high falls , confident weakens and i began to wonder how life is in the past for her..or is it the present .. because i live in the future ..


i tend to calculate and manipulate my steps to bring me closer to my depiction of what i want life to be and how i feel it should be ran.. how naive of me because the more i try to control the more i see how my hands are tied and how things are out of my will. All i can do is what i have been doing making the choices .. the weight is heavy .. the ground does not give ..i wish i had someone to help lift this load of depression which ways me down the wolrd sends me obstacles i wish they would cease the only way to be completely at peace is to commit and act unforgivable which i am not willing to do . so i must hold strong ..



with all this being said i will continue to smile. so i say "cheeese "

first night on the town

Miami, south beach.. one word amazing

i can get use to this =]

stay strong

to those in longdistance relationships , stay strong ...

anything is obtainable long as both parties are willing ..

i know it gets hard having your heart heavy w/ grief from missing your oppsite sex..

but just hold on .. if its true it will work .. just be understanding .. and willing .. and belive

rare-ity is atill around.. "love" does exsit.. honesty is still present ..

movie that coe-insides with my arguement "slumdogmillionare" &"attonement" a must see

simple

today .. is simple .. more relived than the last

as i go about my day ..i noticed red lipstick on my right shoulder

to some all my thoughts..

i can reply with a simple phrase "I miss her"

wierd to think as my day has already bloomed hers is just sprounting.. "time warp" funny

Martina Topley-Bird ... one word dream-y

new artist i Found from England.. very worth listen-n to..seriously ..voice makes hard niggas melt soft.. lol




"sandpaper kisses"



"baby blue"

God loves ugly

slow it down .. peel back the surface ..

behind the ruff exterior is disclosed beauty.. beyond what the eye can comprehend..

real brief.. d i g d e e p!

sunshine at its finest

Delicate breezes..
lienen shorts..
comfy slippers...
Clear wash..

A tattooed angel has found his paradise.

Sun rays embrace ones melon creating dark toned fragments where softer shades were .. tan

Peace, tranquility

Clear skies
Reflections from the sun bounce of bodies of water to create a blue effect in the sky..

astounded i am.

Welcome to my little slice of paradise..

Sunshine at its finest =]

goodnight

11:56pm

Take note ,
Words exchanged vibe for a 4finger plus thumb count.

Time not wasted
Good conversation, wide range variety..

I must say what a pleasure

Something i most def dont want to loose.

going to bed with a smile on ones face .

like minds do they exsit

Surounded by nnecromancy disordaly conduct , where am i ? Why am i here? Free as a bird i want to be.

Free as the breeze crossing field.. free to the definiton of my mind. What are we composed of ? Morality distant.

Where do i go to find substance? Peace of mind, is it possible to achieve ? If one knows the answer please gudie me to tha passage way ..

Feeling like the only escape of the worlds insanity is death.

Am i really the last of my kind? Is this why people tend to say more often then occasions that i am nothing they have met before?

But this being said it is hard to find my place.. i feel like an outsider is there anyone that can relate?

I see attributes in some but there hidden, no names revelaved she sits up when haveing problems and incloses herself to her thoughts in the dark alone in the living room

little does she know is ican relate i am the same way but the diff is she would never utter to tell some of these secrets. Her behaviors.

First time i met sum1 close to similar .. ok subject corrected tangent finished.. lol

Opinions not express .feelings hidden.. sum1 show me relief i haven been beatin from the world for my unwillingnes to conform i need sum peace.


. i am at the point of giving.. the good morals starts to fade im reaching they are slipping..

Breath of fresh air come my way because i am suffcting from holdin.. toxics in my way clear a pathway ..

Any opinons feel free to express. These are my thought i share to you .. share back

Contrary to simplicity , a profound silence, layers unimaginable the key to ones heart disalows me.

My mind entrances dipictions of us, memories once felt, past bliss

Be.. exsit .. you are..

Wonderful abide in your piquancy, let loose the you within, give the world a star as lustrous as the milkyway on a calm night.

The depths of you i want to pilgrimage.

Learning the wonders that beseech you, monotone. Herd from me once before , just hoping this recolection is within clarity.


"Slo-impulses"

humanly as possible

Confirmation please..

No hesitation attempted, i reply..

I am he.. she knows..

My eyes speak ot her.. she is trancefixed..

Words exchnaged with no dialect..

For one moment in time, time took a break, it paused.

I belive we have done it.. we have reach a something.. can you feel it.. undesscribable.. B L I S S =]

explantions? anyone?

Explantions? Anyone?

Why is it so hard to fight for what we want?
Why is it so hard to take risk?
Why is it so hard to follow are heart?
Are we afraid of the let down, if so why? How will we ever see what is to be with out risk
Has i love you lost all substance and now became a relaity televison phrase?

Explantions? Anyone?

Why is hard to find faith in people? yet alone faithfullness?
Where honest love? The kind that is ongoing doesnt fade
Where is trust?
Is there any real possiblity to find a soul mate or grow with a stranger?
Is it possible to be with somefrom for adolesacne to adult hood like in our elder's days?

Explanations? Anyone?

Is it a cure for our on growing hunger for materialistic ideas and point of view?
Is our ideaology scraped of substance? How would we get it back?
Where is oldfashion in a modern world with no moral standard?

Explanations? Anyone,

Am i out dated For the morals and belif i refuse to conform from for acceptance? ..

I may not no the answer to these questions but i refuse to become a slave to these, pacuilar enough my mind is no where backing my heart the voice in my head rants for me to stop this train. The delimma is felt. But i choose to be..

Last of a dying breed

teasure is found

As I walk the asfualt, my mental structure draws dipictions fimilar to ones simental. I catch breif encounters of pass ones as I charter along the depths of the mental prism.. lips brush ..skin braces,pelvises touch,subtle words are spoken... simple.. but distinctive..mental apathy.. feelings are felt throught the souls deepest seducted areas... treasure is found. In awww, wow.

shes afriad, dont be

Shes afriad .. dont be.. shes afraid... dont be ... why cnt she comprehend the meaning of my embrace..dont be afraid .. come to me... dont i keep yu smiling.. i want to be the one that makes yu happiest and has the potentail to hurt yu the most.. she has her heart hidden in a droor she shows it to me every now and then but when i reach..she reacts in a proctetive way... i say babe yur afriad... dont be.. the idea of letting me love you fully... dont be.. let me ... hold you, cover you ,promise i make i keep.. she loves me half-heartedly.. sickning to my stomach that she has the power to love with a half heart leaving room for some1 to grab a piece.. babe i stay dont deny im here .. to be.. i sat up in the dark wth as yu cried.. i held yur tears with my fingertips.. amazing we could be.. falling fiercely... baby .. baby baby.. im fadeing away... to a place... feel my warmth turn cold.. if im not wanted then i will grant thee lonley... even tho i would rather hold thee touch thee. Know thee loved me as i loved shee..i sit and think is there a hidden agenda she hides .. the world is so cruel let me be yur armor and you my peace..as i write to thee .. i hope where shee is she can feel .. feel me .. close your eyes... now ask your self... if there is any place in the world you could be right now ..where would it be?.. if close to me or sumwhere in foregin domain by the side of thee is not the theme. Then i guess im on the wrong pages of yur boook . And mayb im forcing my co-starship in a script thats ment only for one.

the run beginns =[

I must find shelter Naked no more will i lay in the streets, the pain intesnafices.. the heart ace... i leave my heart behind and runn my soul deleted.. silence begins.. hurt. Felt in a surreal way... why did i? why did i have to meet thee onnly yo be striped of the heart in excnage for rubish.. did i not give yu me.. give yu all that yu asked. Am i not worthy.. =[ maybe not i was used for my services now i am depleted.. hope yu enjoyed the nature i provided the way i went beyond and above.. goodbye MY love.. since i was not thee time spent ..time wasted ...never to return..why did thee awake me and my heart from slumber..to force me back into hibernation with out another piece of my heaart.. more and more as i grow i become cold as the bliss is replaced with black coals... how much more... use me .. to i am depleted...am i misunderstood... deciving you are becoming the resaon i will give up on finding th elove that i need ...guess i was worthy.. my love wasnt enuff. To unlock the key intowitch i could live and kkeep thee warm...and secure i belive all my words have feel to the ground..and so have i falling on cement..is there nething she could to patch me up? . the run beginns.=[...

truth

Women with all do respect but when one finds something worth keeping, keep it do not let pride be the cuse of yu loosing something tht could have ben great or let doubt deture you from giving your all , if you relly feel a certain way about yur partner let them know express your feelings be naked and i gareentee they will stay around .. dnt listen to others and the mishaps of your past if hte person is good to yu and shows no fulat be open its almost as if he held the dure to yur dease but since yu been with the deseas so long yur afraid of not haveing it bcuse yu wouldnt know how to function..with is insaitty..remebr what you wont do nother woman will so love you prtner how you would want to be love ... read up on what love really is..it is not selfish.. it patent kind.. etc etc .. be the women men dream about, and desire show the true yu because a true man wouldnt want nething more and would cover yu in yur bareest moments.. and love you even when it hurts...

as i ponder

As i ponder life decsicons i come acroos you in my mind. And start to hear music "is anything im doing brand new"damn im confident but the insecurties start to settle will we last thru the college move, i meani give her something she cant find anywhere else but is it enuff for her to face the tragic pull of her emotions i begain to doubt the capacity i dont want her to become the reson that i give up finding the love that i need.. so i ask her did they make yu cry on the very first night? Did you give your self inways yu never did befor on second night baby tell why? If i am so diff show me keep me what one woman wont do another will so lets make yu everyone and me evryman because i will. I want a long term relationship with thee something everlasting .something ican telll our kids about one day someday.. she wnats to have my kidd ..cool but can she wiat till one is ready stand firm hold it down to the end.. i hope i wish i never need another frienf but one named y o u

spiraling down

I build her up she tears me down i thro my love she makes me from shades of gray are the hues in my vision the portait when we started was vibrant now everday it seems to fade.. i place your hand on my heart yu feel the beat only to move at pace contray to it.. the end is coming a downward spiral.. i see it occuring the pain i feel as we tumble... the wieght is heavy im lifting alone.. 50/50 ? More like 80 /20 the 20 percent yu provide confines hidden .. senstivty i may psses for yu movements like no other i crush the dream we built to put end to missery. I will spread my wings and fly to soft sands and clear beach front, and will gently let go of your hand until the taste of me in your mouth is so subtle ... you are becoming the reason that i.. i rember why life is easier a l o ne. Remeber my rarity the teasuure i posses and give cannot be felt ever again.. no comparison. So cherish the gewls i have to you for now i leavee in the distance.. i see a glare in your eye.. dnt shed a tear it would be vanity to do so beacuse it vein..give you time? Well my time is limited... love you? I cant help but, but at the same time teach yu? I have no time for slow learners? ..the wors shared from heart are harsh because of the depth of the cut tooken from your interactions with it.

Life isn't what it seems to be. What are we here for? Why do pursue false hopes and dreams? Life is balance but what is too much and what is to little? We fein for things unseen, we hope for things we believe will fix the voids. We stay at crossroads tasting diff things we believe can fit the criteria of what we want. Diff elements and things we believe we need.. and the choices we take bring us closer to a specific road.. which we start to walk down..But as humans are insecurities and habits conduct us in a way which makes us flutter around.. learn the hard way take harder roads.. make decisions hard to make because we fluctuate..where to go? What to be? What friends fit us? Because us and individuals as true unique ppl can fit and adjust and hang in ne surrounding and still function . Buh we really dnt belong to ne group or faction of ppl. Or type of personality.. one day we will have to choose the life And the lifestyle we r gonna live and not turn back.. because if we decide to stay stuck in the middle we will end up never using out abilities The truth is we want greatness and everything that comes with it but are we willing to let it in and sacrifice what us needed to achieve...sometimes that means giving up our soul.. our morality our essence to gain riches and become what we despise and loose what we are.The thoughts I share seem to have a connection . To what is the crisis or midpoint of my struggle. And I chose to let yu seep in to release the thing that stabs my soul.. deception is prevalent .. love is absent.. life is a confusion.. cross roads are everywhere.. decisions there are many.. peace of mind is obtainable..

my smoke and mirrors

trying to let go.. like with a withdrawal she's stuck in my memory bank... shake away..to be free..cage in insanity of forgotten hopes..hoping one day to be like images happiness is made of... the voice in my head screams find peace of mind.. sometimes i battle within myself.. please help me.. forget my past..it chases me.. life.. takes all my energy.. i yearn to understand the meaning of your embrace.. please don't let me disgrace...will my devotion last?.. that old me is left behind..they say its impossible..... but i know its possible.. to really know the meaning of.. a lasting relationship.. not built own ownership... i trust every part of... face on floor .. knee to a degree.. i .. found the reason y we can be so insecure....the reason we feed of immature.. deception in the air .. a palace of smoke and mirrors.. I'm sorry .. understand the meaning of the embrace i gave Cherish it.. to each is on.. and on to each.. inspiration faded.. now gained.. to a h i g h e r me. Unleashed...I'm sorry love felt. And given. G o o d life g o o d bye My smoke and mirrors.

no hesitation needed

Wen hatred feels my heart I think of you and peace resides you keep me sane in a god forsaken world we have turned from Peace and love to. Lust and hate I debate could something this real ever become fake to me I hope not.. I wish i could hold this feeling of faint for you forever.. the times you cry I wipe every tear mentally I crest and kiss every wound physically .. your are the picture of my perfection.. no hesitation needed..

crossroads

The things you keep inside holds no boundaries.. it seeps out through your work sometimes.. as though willing to tell willing to let go of..but your mind frame fights your heart although they agree more than they use to the battles you fight inside are unparalleled..lonely is what you fear. But until you don't fear lonely. You will never be.. see life is funny it throws people in your pathway.. and its up to you what you make of it ..so here I stand...our roads have intertwine For what reason escapes me .. now what are we to do?

caged

I run to my mind, the only escape I have from the worlds captivity . A secret sanctuary. Of peace faulty by every way consumed with false fantasies and depictions of life, but still peace I must escape this place.. to where my light can shine.. peace can be given outside of my brain let this caged bird free.. free me...

Russain ru-let

i wish the world was a better place and i wish i didn't have to erase buh i cant help buh replace.. decent women gone..another sad song .. im so far gonne.. life's never too long . i cry on this pillow .. tears of salt , that means they dnt run down my check..buh my heart .. i think i gave a fuck too much , now.. i can care less.. i mean i feel like im the best that has ever lived my life is filled with verbs , nouns, and adjetives,.. the perfect man she would want in her plans... i could be if she see through this hurglass and dont look .. at my past.. wen i reach my peak shit .. i hope that it last.. sad like i tweaked..im lustin after life.. death all over my back, soo how do i react... ? i run fast. so i dnt let go..and behold the man behind the mask ... love? wah about it .. ill put it in the corner while i grind near loookin at it through my rear....view, my goals.. shit who knows if i make it or if i fail.. im load-in up this revolver.... i take breath. "Russian ru-let" ..

i delete the lies

I delete the lies you tell me from the pages of my mind the sweet empty words. Killed me softly little did i know the poison it contained.. it crept up through my veins and contaminated my heart ... dead i lay.. in a pool of diguest.. no more. I say no more. No more lies .. the fantasy is erased. the warmth you gave my heart is frostbit'n who could recover the pieces you have tainted. . . I lay-ed bare in-fornt of you just to be made a mockery of... tears run down my faces and fall to my lips and remind me of why i choose to be heartless in the first place. I will delete you from my memory and the things that remind me of you all my cease to exist... the termination must take no haste .. nor will i commit to let you back in i will shed no tear for you never again.. i hope it eats at your flesh. That i could let it and leave it be this way. Its sad that i love you still but i will try with every ounce i have to let it fade. I love you... ughh i do. But now i know why i will fight and run to not love again. Stupid is the one the believes....therefore i was stupid.

i dont

I dont wanna be a waste of greatness , less of the man i have to have potential to be. Who am i if all the knowledge and talent i poses finds no use. I then become more obsolete then scum.. more disgusting than an untouchable.. i beg my self in the mirror .. i say to ones character.. we must be greater than the ones before us and i must learn and study great men until they are great no more to me.. and my struggles will try to cover me buh i must be .. and stand.

silo-wet

Star'n at my rearview I seem dim shades of blue.. blue shades of yu.. I cnt understand the feeling she gives its so brand new..I wonder culd this really be .. something great in the making like timbucktoo.. or something that has me decived by the way her sway back and forth or how her lips look full of moist drop and everytime we kiss I feel winterfresh .. damn my mind is hazy cus wen we lay ...man we LAY.. and wen she drops down she really prays. And I think ... think I do.. she takes me to places in the silo-wet of her ... and I am her fien ..she feeds me daily...=].

thinkin about seduction

Thinkin about seduction thinkn about those legsWen we meet. I hopeshe smeel like spring.. cleann.. like a gentle breezee.. and wen I tatse. I hope she drips ..like raindrops... as I reaxh for her soul...and wen I reach I will listen to the beats as I play drums on her body .. take noteswrite sonnets and plays to the way she goes.. and wen she lays in peace I hope I be that vision she sees... iwana be.. like she has never fein'd ..and fien.d she shall on levels .. she has never felt... spreaded like I spread butter over bread ..she flows so smooth ..her body is like amelody that cnt be found.. I listen ..it calls..wet dreams of penatration in her. Underwater paradise ...as I explore .I find hidden treasure idnt knoe exsited. She.. is ..we is .. in a moment ..

vision blury

My vision blurrs I whipe lust from my eyes and see true love.. love never felt ... by hands however felt on level only few comprehnd .. I see a face I see a name ..more and more I gain a clear image of thee .. I speak out as to rach out my words be come my hands I cerst her with every thought I breath.. she feels me .. deep her mind races back to times ... life becomes still she enters uncharted fantasies that only her heart knows. I kiss her with soft spoken phrases my heart sings sweet melodies to her. I love her .. more beyond I'm suppose to the gates I have climbed the lines I have crossed.

like

I miss yu like soft breezes and calm waves , like. City lights at night in the middle of July.. a ghost.. that my heart stills feels .. a connect for am I juss linger'n was it a tease.. I swear her words feel like how she most taste.. sweet like peaches .. cream'd up ..saten like chanel sheets.. I swear the touch from her to he most be a dream .. I feinn. I feinn. I.. sense a familar feeling one that has escaped me soo long , the one thing I would run from is the one thing I yearn to have, crazy it seem that I could feel that 4 letters.. me? Feel the l o v e? Could this be ...? Awake me from clouds of 9 and bring me back to my soul-est departure across the earths surface...on a chase for happiness in things that become vague. Things the cloud my depiction of life or the real meaning of... leave me be with material things the chase of green colored paper and the self-full-fill-ment of success and things of the flesh...because if .. would or could 4 letter world then.. then.. I might be human and have a heart and that would mean.... I could once again be..

Disorientate

I will run from love until I can't run no more and when I can't run anymore I will hide and wen love seeps through the cracks to find me I will duck..dodge... I will. I will fight I will not let it hinder me helplessly


Self-ish.. And yu dnt see it...yu want help.. Buh yu dnt heed it.. Wah am I to do? Comfort...? But yu dnt accept it, yet yu cry out for acceptance for love for friendship.. Yu cry out for allthe things yu lack buh wen they come yu runnn ..yu runnn to hide in yur sorrow and die in self pity the shameee the shameee ..awake I tellyu ... awake

picture me

Picture me as a drug.. And the dosage yu takes may fein yu.. The urge grows .. Now her hearts says"I need yu" withdrawals carry her seldomly, sickening she f e e l s, I glance and notice the depletion of her strong aroma. I become the ER and fill her with liquid thoughts. I travel through her veins ..she glares..in physical form. I drop a tear .. It fallss gentle down my check I wipe. It .. I look closer she starts to fade. I say the depiction of yur heart is I.. she looked in me. In me.. I pause. She starts to stare my eyes fill with fulid they startto flood .. She says yu are the depiction of my hearts desire nd if so then that means we were ment like a prophecy and I and yu can be compared to destiny .. My hand reaches for her face I touch her softly .. She lays back in my arms. And uses her hands freely to crest my biceps.. I tell her if my wings could ..I would.. Fly yu to the heavens and give yu wah yu deserve ..she replies no need yu take me there on a regular.. She goes to say yur presences is up lifting and uplifting is rarity. And I am at yur will... will yu .. I stop her. And say yes. She smiles. We connect a vibe..nuff said.

S I N

S I N is wah she feeds me . Sublte bites from the apple I take... more and more she becomes the seducer to my eyes.. I like .. See im strong so I dnt budge physically. I keep my cool buh in my mind I wonder delicouos thoughts I crave... .. Tatse of bitter sweet na.. Juss sweet.. Sweet as mango maybe pinaple ..mayb a combination of both.. Sin is my addiction.. Buh if I continue to feed will it be my fall.. Wah if I give in to the temptation could sin handle the thrust of me. The being of thee cus I be more than its use to never suducted such a strong force ..I wonder

my closet is clean

Pain runs deep... ahhh the agony I hold withinMy being still tries to patch gashes yu left. Gashes yu left deep. One stab took me.. My mountain crumbled.. In the midst of my sanctuary where no one is present I ... I admit to myself I still love yu.. And I hate that love found me when I met yu.. No I don't want yu back to much has conspired down our story .. Life happen.

U-turns consumed us .. I pray death does not meet ether of us b4 peace is made. I had life intwine wit yu too l o n g. And secrets told that wasn't said off lips to any buh wrote down from me to yu and yu to I .. Opened a flood gate of honesty and gave the best I had to offer at the time and yu were a die to ride..laughs..cries..food..sex..together. We made all. Did all.

Now we erased ourstory from the pages of life buh not our soul 7 months have past and still yu are thought of in good light and best wishes..wish friends we could be. Buh the hatred yu posses won't let be. Strangers made life.. Life destroyed..rebuild withothers I caution cus of the time ilost with yu..I admit it had a effect onhow itreat the ones I borrow form time to time now.. Buh all I have is postive vibes. I let go thru this and now my closet is clean. I love yu and best wishes in life.

such a bore

She says don't let go. Rain pours over her face concealing tears she say, I have no sympathy, tears of wah I say..of self pleasing fulfillment.. Of hunger pains maybe.. I feel no pity I care less and less. The agony of .. Or the pursuit of the unobtainable.. She longs for the things that consume her.. Is it honest and true ? I have no opinion I take not her words as truth. Juss simple poems with no heart no meaning she says feed me.

She says tell me sumthin.. Use me to I have no more to give?.. Or is it sum meaning to wah she is craving could love me? Realy . Love me.. She says I long for this and that wen itell her all the time. Say the word. Does she ? Nope. . I know nothing of her .

I kno not her thoughts her feelings her life. Nothing all ikno is her poetry. Nothing more I have nothing writing in my journal I give her my soul she give me empty words.. Funny. It doesn't bother me I juss care less and less lose hope and more hope.. She is dying to me.

Can she revive my cares. My concerns .. I do love her honestly I do buh I can love from a distance if I must one moment I feel as she.. Top im on then top im off same way with her hunger one min she needs next min she full. Does she want to kno I or my art.. I put forth effort to paint a painting . For her. Is she interested in th painting or the the artist I find it hard to see .. My vision is blurred. I love her with a real love. I love her with a real love.

Im embedded to her and my promises still stand. ..buh I wonder is she deeper than wah I see cus I see empty shell.

I see mask hiding wah matters not willing to deal wit afraid o f attachment. She gives juss few soul rising words I barely see life... I barely seee much .. I love yu sweetheart I do

To feed you

"To feed yu" is what yu want thereforeyu have been fead"

enjoy yur morning, noon, and night

Love for yu? Yes ..love yu? yes ...questions? Many .. Answers? Few .

Simple kiss on the forehead, Is the inequlity and yu are the y-ntercept and I be the slope..the quadrant is unknown my love. .. Ahh the angony of peacee. The simple rush of tranquility.. I love enuff said.. Enuff said... my love

say the word

Say the word.. I say .. Please say the word..juss say the word. And I .. Will be. I will bath her in my touch .. I will Ceres her with my wings and wen she has had her fill I will fly her to new heights mentally and physically.. . S t o p.. I wait until she fixes her lips to release me from my cage only her can make or break the situation .. She's my Friend and I love her and I will always be there for wah e v e r she needs .. Juss say the w o r d..so I can become we and my love can be let free from its cage buh yu see its bittersweet because she knows this and she is the o n e keeping the cage around him as to seee and to believe as to doubt the outcomes and realities that might occur if he is set freee.. I can smell her fear that he could ..we could r e a l l y be. Buh see this time she won't loose me. She won't loose me because I will engrave my name on her heart ethier way so until the end of time the song of her heart will play..speaking subtle words and cries that only the language of her should can grasp..that deep empty whole that yu try to fix.and feel wit pleasure and wants.yeah that's for me. And me is I and I is we and we is all... I say my world I will keep her world I will seek and explore. And keep watch... her world I visit as a guest till that undefined moment rests...and we rest ..she will rest in my arms and tell me everything that has ever escaped her or hurt her or made her and I will pay close attention because to me she matters she is real and I will be wah she needs me to be.. A Friend. a lover . A buddy a pal a big brother(figuratively) lol. .