shed so many tears

Im feeling lost.. no smiles on no cheers .. just sad filled faces and depression..

. sinned beyond redemption..

My soul deleted. Label me greedy .. and corrupt .. you the world has made me this way..

all i want and pressure is what fancies me.. which are things of nothingness

Fuck the world i feel curse..God if yu could please take me away from the pain... and pressure

Show me happiness on earth... Before i reach the place where water doesn't exist and torment last forever... damn where did i fell...

Im lost and weary.. so many tears .. im feeling suicidal.. no courage to take from myself the misery i am embedded in.. maybe cus of my creeping conscience ..

lonely seems to be the best option as i fade into the background.. lord knows i been a witness to many things.. .. my mind paint pictures but all of them are clouded.. as i drink wine ..to reach forgetfull-ness 1:43am the clock turns..

the place i reside is my mind. which i cant escape.. my own captivity.. far from any civilization.. alone i rest and alone i will awake...

feeling as if no longer will i exsit..and i wanna leave my mark onthe earths floor.

Will i survie till tomorro.. death seems so close.. so sweet .. do i invite or ... push away ..the dilemma this life for me?

..

what of it..

soon i will return to my essacne the dirt which i came.. tired of being surrounded by promise makers who tend to do which humans do.. forgetfulness they say..smh... no ones worth thier weight and gold therfore theirs tend to hit cement and brake like dinner plates more often than standing firm

my cry for help no one hears .. it so subtle so sweet im calling so it seems i wlli be saving saving my self again? .. tired of it..

i have been sucked dry.. becoming everyone strength feeling depleted holding it all in and taking on everyone elses..

believing in fairy tales i admit..i fancy them but more and more the feeling of becoming one seems slimm..so use to words failing to the ground how long will they hold.. hopefully eternity .. but if not..

Don't worry about me lonely is what im use too solo is how i wonder the earth .. mayb true love and happiness is ment for a chosen few mayb i been thro too much to be apart of that secret society or mayb i am like the orphan annne.. the sun will come out tomorrow....one hopes....

the ones i love remember i will love you forever.. my heart is darken all over except tthe places yu all reside.. no names yu know who yu are.. but for now forget me live freely ...

and i fadee to nothingness.. helplessly.. alone.. tormented by the demons i left undelt with .. bye bye