untittled

see I said I want to but I can't and i know .. oh did I mention I know if I did we would drip like honey and I would murder yu..and in thoughts lay yu out bare and and read alll yur secrets to the diary of yur soul and although yu want to Know this feeling.. the barriers yu poses will stop yu.. I see morning in yur eyes I fein for the drop of yur strawberries in cream.. The taste of yur mango in my mouth wow. Can yu say deliocuos and I kno.. Oh did I say I know I could please yu. As if yu were rollin of a pill and the beat consumed yur body. And I damn I .. Would hunt yur soul like a lion hunts a sheep. And is that fair to thee for me, To devour yu in such a sweet subtle way but to gian all of yu as if to own yur soul... is bittersweet waht yu need right now.. Naa as I look deep I see..look in the mirror .. Yu see that's who loves yu uncondtionaly and yu need to love that person back first before love cna even be given or taken because without the love of ones self love can't be completed and the love we could. We should make wouldn't be as s w e e t.

the more

The more i loved yu the more perfect yu became.. To me.. Yu see yur flaws disappeared wen yur heart opened and I could care less what yu had.. Or been thru or yur sex life before me because it didn't matter ..al that mattered was the present and that is I and yu.. ..as time grew I became of aware of the small minuet things..they became enlarge and I loved them more than the idea of what yu were because in my eyes yu became heaven .. And I.. I was lifted.. To clouds of nine.. And damn I mean damn we made wow.. No better yet we made amazing... yur ocean was clean.. Fresh and wen I swam in.. I came up refreshed..I discovered ..

This girl i know

Shes BeauTiful on thE surface But noOnE sees thE internal sCares she has gain oVer the YeaRs from past Relations and lifes adversities..

she holds a smIle and a cOcky smerk, this girl i know, to cover her the PAin and the Lonsome feelings inside ....A heart of gold But surounded by a wAll of Lies, pAin, and Angerwhich keeps her in a state of sulclusion 4rm a new chapter in life..God calls.....she hears ...this girl i know ....God calls ...she hears??... this girl i know...but does she come???she wants to so she reads the word listen to sermins but dares to step foot in church.. i think not so she tries to move along on her ..this girl o know..shes doin it again......a never ending cycle of up and downs...same situtations..why?...why? my friend should u have to go throught this??...i asked...dont u see the never ending fall on ur on ...yhe girl i know replise...yes i knoW but...i say trust!!!...she say who? .. i say not man...She says who? i say not family...She says who?..i Say the one ... the one who loves u more than ur mother , who will have ur back more than ur best friend or that one family member that seems 2 b there 4 u all the time....She says how?..

this girl ikno....i say Ask...just talk 2 him he listens....the girl i kno...is souronded by the fake friends....the girl i now is swamped w/feelings a lot like love that turns out in to b mier "like" pushed by lust ..popularity and the world has her by the hair as she struggles 4 her self thro a battle within..life pushed her views and distorted her thoughts...

so now she is desensatized and her innocents is being removed..i wish i could help...lend a hand to help ..be the the guide to the light house ..but this girl i kno pushes and willinly..i ask myself why?? but once hurt things r no more the same ...this girl ikno...starts to follow the path .. i smile...FREEEZZZEEE,A blast from the past occurs old friends, dirty boyfriends come backk....i frown...this girl i kno is forced to stop....lstening to the past hoping and beliving tha this time it will be different...dirty boyfriend words r filled with false hope as she sucks it end on the other end of the line he smerks ... as he knows he has her ...this girl i know goes back....back into the never ending cycle of stress and sad filled days never toching the thought to pray...instead pushes on bcuz of pride..shes strong...but wheres her humbleness...shes doing it again....this girl ikno.. over looks the outlet

...>god<...

and turns 2 pride instead....so she gives Love .. thinking he will See wat he hAs ... never happens .. juSt more heart Break ... more sorrow....this girl i kno ...enough is enough she breaks free on her on leaving him alone .. i look...but now she has this delima that All guys must be the same ..never seeing the pattern of guyz shes chosen...that the heart break was on her .....if u put the same action in u will get the same reaction al the time ..juss as if u smoked weed u get high ....funny how this girl i kno has something in her face that's real but is so use to the fake she is comfortable w/it its the norm to her ... this girl ikno..man ... step back and look at your past and ur present examine ur life ... think and pray..... think and pray .....

lost one , gain one- dec. 2 2008

So yeah I haven't wrote one of these in a moment. Didn't have a reason till now, its about that time..a lot has been lost but through these losses much has been gain, through knowledge and wisdom. These are my thoughts welcome to my mind. Yeah me, my brain, my thoughts so welcome.




Lost , is something no one wants to experience , it feels as tho yu have been striped from something, something that was apart of yu or close to yu, but in every lost there is something to be gained. If yu look hard enough yu will see some type of light at the end of the tunnel, me I lost she, the first she he really cared for but in the midst he gained wisdom and maturity but first he had to loose immaturity and slefishnes behavior. To lose is a thing nonoe wants but we most loose to learn and gain and progress, I lost associates but gained friends. I have lost a lot this past year some people have died and left some people I have lost in another sense. Buh I feel as though all this have made me better person and individual that has overcame adversity with family ,friends, and loved ones. Now my focus is clear. Yu see life is a product of the choices we make, some good, some bad but yest and still they all tend to continue to mold us in ways that prepare us or hurt us in the future I admit I have had a few of both from loosing a friendship with someone ilove dearly to getting into college and starting back print model'n and etc things happen and in the future if we continue to strive things will achieve a state of harmony,So please understand, lost and gain is apart of life it helps us grow, sum of us end up on the losing side more than the gaining, but remember things will get better have faith, don't give up hope and the things yu can accomplish are numorous

love- 2004

love....love is not seen or herd but only felt not by hand but by the heart,love doesn't love anything but itself because if it did it would have no pain.............is love a type of insanity ......to be willing to do anything for ur opposite sex.........someone not ur flesh and blood...........the term love is used so loosely it often gets mixed up and confused with the feeling called lust. is it possible to love one than more person in a since of "in love" or wat and is hate another form of love or is hate even possible?..........why do we love? is that imperative that we do find another half to make us hold or do we even need another to complete us?..........help mr understand the human thought in which to grasp unknown which is love can or is it even possible to control or understand..........the human mind is easy to manipulate but how do u manipulate luv can u make someone luv u ? i think not but it is possible to make a person be open to love and not shut it out to give it a chance if not with ,...........with someone because don't u think everyone deserves a chance to love??????????

what has the world come to?

Do we not see the lack for humanity's rights or the the rights of individuals themself...or our we all just heartless realists withno sympathy for counts, like industrialized puppets with no self enternal peace instead we yern for ones on pleasures even if they have no self substaning meaning to them....instead taking time for a second to down and to think apon what we once were and how we are now as individuala and as a people in a whole then look towards the future to prereflect on how we will be if we donot decide to make a step to redirect and rethink our approach....what happen to humanity'ssense of "care" or shall i say "feelings" do we even care about the issues at hand?.....or has everything evaperated into a stae of scientific thought or "ism"............or is my trian of thought juss snipids of the past ,an idealistic fool o am I just built with no spine to move with the times of today?...or was there ever a time when things were different..am i blinded by a faiytail lol, a figment of imagenation..and humanity has always been how should i say..products of enviorments industrialized and brian washed to think only of ones self?.......are we growing and just adapting to the times or is there an influence thats making us adapt to it??????????

ऍम इ?

Am i ??
I am stuck in the gray force in making myself god ....defined by my material things ...i am the things i posses ..fear of failling ... living sumblime in things that are anti...my anti way of thinking keeps..me from discovering ...getting close..reaching out..my pride ....tells me im right im me im unique..everyone eles is wrong ..Y?.....I am searching for wat is true and wat is real ..but blinded and desensetized by my past and present ..not looking towards the future ...living in the moment that is so frivalous ....driven by emotions that change so quick ..searchin 4 the prssuit of happines ....persuing but never feeling content.. wat am I ..am I me ....am I a recreation of the world views .my parents views ..does the culture @ the time define who I am ...when it chages do I....am i suppose to keep this state of mind..nO i wOnt ....Never Conform ...nevr deter to materialism ...worship myself and my flesh i mustent...i must push and strive

why?

We as people are emotional beings we base everything off how we feel or "well to me"..when our emotions change drastically throughout the day 1 min we are happy the next sad, lets start basing our lives off wat is true not what we feel is true, we live in the moment and never think about our inescapable reality that our time will be over soon because it sobbers us up? Have we been reduced 2 ignorance where we can't see the big picture @ hand or is it we juss want 2 b ignorant on purpose and hold on 2 our false perception of what really matters and our emotinal swaying that sends us on ups and downs r we a ppl who who lets emotions dictate the way we live and think is our life drivin off wat the world and culture percives to be "IT" @ the point in time, the things we base our every aspect of life on: relationships, jobs, freinds, family, who we r , is determine by this..WHY!!>:o Think about it

Be

I see her , in my dreams , she shares.. We share... together we are.... what you would call a perfect inter-twinement.. Not built off a physical epadora.. We share a conscious level.. Of highes the world has yet to see or fathom.. The knowledge he and her poses seems to pure from the unknown...buh the barrier lies in between until they have both grown to the point and earned the right to encounter each others touch.. To encounter each others warm to....to .. Be whole. Once More... to be whole.. Not a imagine of perfection or perfect love, because they both know that can only come from God , buh as perfect as human can love another, perfectly unique in there own way.. The insanity the poses is bittersweet.. To love,care, want, fein, for a complete stranger is insanity on realist level.. Buh in his eyes,..in her eyes.. Insanity permits ordinary with out it how could we... where would we.. Who would we... BE ...since they took her from his essence he has been dreaming of her..now to find the perfect soul... in a form a young woman trapped in a castle is bliss..bliss un herd of... buh now here is the question.. Does he hold on to what should .. What needs to .. What yearns to...BE his? .. I think not.. I believe he wants to feel her hate, he wants to feel her grief, he wants to feel her love, he wants to feel her, sublimes Ora of happiness, enchantment, he wants to... BE whole again. Remembering the past relationships..missing pieces..f the puzzle buh teaching and preparing him on the way.. As well as her. prepping them on one another as tho life knew they would meet... although each of them has flaws...because of human durability...each one know things will happen fights might... buh life isn't a fairy tale buh to have each other one days seems close enough.. Soo touch him... squeeze him.. Feeel him..breathe him until that time.. Keep your heart in res eve...nothing wrong with dating ohters gives you more life experience for wen you meet the ONE who's been holding the key to the chamber which has never been unlocked... and he will hold his key and his heart until the time is right. He will endure to prove worthy as so will she and wen they entwines physically it will be there first....first time ..to count.. Because the depth of love they will experience will be diff from others it will hold wight of gold and platinum... it will be as rare and as intense as a blood diamond... to engage on journey a journey of... untold pathways... to.. Juss ..BE.

you say you want someone special?

you say you want love.. you say you want trust... you say you want real. to be herd. to be felt, on a level never before.. i wanted to cover you.. cover you wit my heart spread my tattooed wings across you to keep you sheltered from the storm of the world and its harsh thrashes.. we..me..she.. made ... coulda been us .. we could... she could of been my perfect, my desire..my f i r e ..the thing that complements my drive. takes and gives.. life...thoughts.. pleasure from her words.. and her heart ..which leads to the physical yield of lust swich would be pure.. pure-er than a moment in blissfull sin... we would make deliicious... deluiocus would be us.. and we could have re-defined what love is.. you...and me but thee.. was scared that he was real and became life. and life made chills occur and barriers fell and made you run.. run from the fall yu epxected buh never came ... the fear we hold .. will hold us from beautiful.. take chances love.. forgive.. feel again .. feel gain!! ..feel... feeell ..... l i f e

She raped my thoughts

damn.. she got me .. she got me for my thoughts .. she got me for my wisdom .. she made me give.. bite.. I was something new so she had to try and wen she tried she enjoyed for a moment until I was day .. thoughts no more ..it was nothing i could do buh stand there helplessly .. hoping that she would cease buh she didn't.. i tried to grab a thought back.. i tried to connect where not to be forgotten buh the barriers she held.. she held this such wow .. she held them well, she .. m a d e me give.. she raped me and now I am without .. t h o u g h t s .. wow what a bad bitch if i ever knew one to rape the un-rape-ble to match a level that did not exist.. buh wen we collided she .. became .. we.. for a moment just enough for her to take what she needed it and then d i s s a p e a r e